>_ Terms of Service

1. Acceptance of Terms

By accessing or using foundermodecoffee.com ("the Site"), our command-line interface tool ("the CLI"), or any services provided by Founder Mode Coffee ("the Company," "we," "us"), you agree to be bound by these Terms of Service ("Terms"). If you do not agree to these Terms, you must immediately cease using the Site.

I want to be perfectly clear: these are not suggestions. These are not guidelines. These are legally binding terms. I have seen what happens when people treat terms of service as optional reading, and it is never — I repeat, never — pretty. You have been advised.

2. Description of Services

Founder Mode Coffee provides the following services, each of which represents, in my estimation, a masterclass in execution:

• The Website. A beautifully designed landing page that showcases our premium coffee products. If you don't think it's beautiful, I would respectfully suggest you recalibrate your aesthetic standards.
• The Waitlist. A mechanism by which discerning individuals can express interest in receiving our coffee. Joining the waitlist does not constitute a purchase, a contract, or a blood oath — though your enthusiasm is noted and appreciated.
• The CLI. A command-line tool installable via Homebrew (brew install founder-mode-coffee) that allows you to interact with our brand in the manner God intended: through a terminal. The CLI includes a ping command that registers your approximate location on our global network visualization. It is, objectively, very cool.

3. Eligibility

You must be at least 13 years of age to use this Site. You must be at least 18 years of age to purchase products, when we begin selling them. If you are a minor, you should be outside playing, not reading terms of service on a coffee website. I say this with genuine concern for the youth of this nation.

4. User Conduct

When using our Site and services, you agree not to:

• Attempt to gain unauthorized access to our systems or databases. Our database is not your playground. It is a finely tuned instrument.
• Use the CLI to spam our API. The ping command is a privilege, not an invitation to DDoS us. Rate limits exist, and they exist for a reason.
• Submit false or misleading information to our waitlist. If you use a fake email, you will simply never receive your coffee, and that is a consequence you will have to live with.
• Scrape, crawl, or otherwise extract data from the Site through automated means without our express written consent.
• Use the Site for any purpose that is unlawful, fraudulent, or harmful. This should go without saying, and yet here we are, saying it.
• Disparage the quality of our coffee without having tasted it. That's not illegal — it's just intellectually dishonest.

5. Intellectual Property

All content on this Site — including but not limited to the design, text, graphics, logos, the globe visualization, the terminal animation, and the names of our coffee blends (Seed Round, Series A Blend, Debug Dark Roast, IPO Espresso) — is the exclusive property of Founder Mode Coffee or its licensors and is protected by applicable intellectual property laws.

You may not reproduce, distribute, modify, or create derivative works from any of our content without our prior written consent. And before you ask — no, making a parody called "Employee Mode Tea" does not fall under fair use. I checked.

6. The CLI & Open Source

The Founder Mode Coffee CLI is distributed under the MIT License. You are free to use, copy, modify, and distribute it in accordance with that license. This is because we believe in open source, we believe in the developer community, and we believe that generosity is the ultimate power move.

That said, the MIT License applies only to the CLI tool itself. The brand, the name "Founder Mode Coffee," and all associated trademarks remain ours. You cannot fork the CLI and rebrand it as your own coffee company. That would be, to use a legal term, "not cool."

7. Disclaimer of Warranties

THE SITE AND ALL SERVICES ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" AND "AS AVAILABLE" WITHOUT WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, AND NON-INFRINGEMENT.

Now, between us — the Site works great. The coffee, when it ships, will be extraordinary. But legally speaking, I am obligated to inform you that we make no guarantees. This is how the law works. I didn't write the law. I merely wield it with uncommon skill.

8. Limitation of Liability

TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED BY APPLICABLE LAW, FOUNDER MODE COFFEE SHALL NOT BE LIABLE FOR ANY INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION LOSS OF PROFITS, DATA, USE, GOODWILL, OR OTHER INTANGIBLE LOSSES, RESULTING FROM:

• Your access to or use of (or inability to access or use) the Site;
• Any conduct or content of any third party on the Site;
• Any content obtained from the Site; or
• Unauthorized access, use, or alteration of your transmissions or content.

In no event shall our total liability exceed the amount you have paid us in the twelve (12) months preceding the claim. Given that we haven't sold anything yet, that number is currently zero. I trust the math speaks for itself.

9. Indemnification

You agree to indemnify, defend, and hold harmless Founder Mode Coffee and its officers, directors, employees, agents, and affiliates from and against any and all claims, damages, obligations, losses, liabilities, costs, and expenses arising from your use of the Site or violation of these Terms.

In plain English: if you do something stupid with our service and someone sues us because of it, you're picking up the tab. This is standard. This is fair. This is the social contract of the internet.

10. Governing Law

These Terms shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of California, without regard to its conflict of law provisions. Any disputes arising under these Terms shall be resolved in the state or federal courts located in San Francisco County, California.

Yes, San Francisco. The beating heart of innovation, the city that gave the world more unicorns than a fantasy novel. If you have a problem with that venue, I would respectfully suggest you reconsider whether you truly belong in the founder ecosystem.

11. Severability

If any provision of these Terms is held to be unenforceable or invalid, such provision shall be changed and interpreted to accomplish the objectives of such provision to the greatest extent possible under applicable law, and the remaining provisions shall continue in full force and effect.

Translation: if a court throws out one of these clauses, the rest still stand. These Terms are built like a well-architected microservice — you can take out one component without bringing down the entire system.

12. Modifications

We reserve the right to modify these Terms at any time. Changes will be effective immediately upon posting to the Site. Your continued use of the Site following any changes constitutes acceptance of those changes.

We will not change these Terms frivolously. We are not in the business of moving goalposts. But the world evolves, regulations change, and a truly great legal document must evolve with them. Like a fine coffee, these Terms will only improve with time.

13. Entire Agreement

These Terms, together with our Privacy Policy, constitute the entire agreement between you and Founder Mode Coffee regarding the use of the Site. Any prior agreements, understandings, or negotiations — whether written, oral, or communicated via Slack DM at 2 AM — are hereby superseded.

14. Contact

For questions about these Terms, reach out to us at @foundermodecoffee on X. We will respond with the same speed and precision with which we roast our beans — which is to say, with great care and absolutely no wasted motion.